Void

Sorry people for the rather depressing me.

 

Things have taken a toll on me and worn me down. After I realised that i was walking that path to destruction I've decided to take a long long walk. I needed the fresh air and serenity of the mother nature at night to sort out my thoughts whilst i sat on a park swing. I've realised that i was being silly and stupid the past few days and now i've things to do, to patch up the wounds i've caused.

 

Im back! My spirit refreshed ready to fight again. I will press on and I will not linger in the past anymore. Time to make each day fulfilling. Time to fight this battle once more.

Been busy these past few days. Looking up job sites and employment agencies and registering in a couple of them. Not just casual work but rather a career. Im hoping by registering early now I can start work immediately after completing my honours.

 

Now im in trouble. Because ive been hunting for jobs ive neglected my project! DAMN. Tommorrow i am going to school to grab some thesis by other people and start my own. Using theirs as a reference of course (disclaimer). Man i have to do this thing even during holidays... SIGH... oh well better start now so i'll less work later.

 

I wonder if im being ignored. A friend whom i used to chat happily with almost every other day has suddenly grown quiet. I even wonder if she views me as a friend anymore. I am deeply saddened. We had our differences in the past but now she has just gone so cold that i don't see her online. Guess im that much of a loser here. Being in computing has seperated me from my friends whom i met in year 1. And i only meet up with them a couple of times. It suddenly got quite lonely. Now that im in honours i work in a lab seperate from everybody else, even my friends in computing. The only friend whom i chatted with during those times in the lab has suddenly now gone all quiet. I feel so alone now. Maybe she has found somebody new. I never see her online much and those times that i do she is always away.

 

Anyone reading this will prolly agree that im being ignored and im just a fucking loser. Life here is getting more and more depressing by the day. I miss my home.

Its been a long time since i've added an entry.

 

The reason is due to the tremendous amounts of work from my honours. Instead of the usual 1 honours project. I have to contend with another one during the first semester of honours. This is no easy task even though it was a team project. The objective is to develop a system framework for surveillence. Fortunately, i was stuck in a team of 3 other very motivated guys and the project went well. We've developed a prototype system of the surveillence framework and scored High Distinction for it. Way to go guys!

 

The main project is my honours dissertation. It is to develop an indoors navigation system for the blind using WiFi technology. It is usable by anyone but its main objective is to facilitate a comfortable journey for the blind. Of course i will not be able to complete the full extent of the project but i'm hoping with enough accomplishment, i am able to be employed and finish the project.

 

Now i await results from my exam. During this time i've taken a break, occassionally doing bits and pieces of my dissertation. I've also tried getting a job. Ive sent applications to colesgroup and myers and other places. However, nobody wants to employ me because of my current termulious visa status. It was so dissappointing to get emails telling me that my application is rejected because of the visa status. I understand their judgement. Its more secure for them to employ and train a casual staff that doesnt have their visa status that can be cancelled at any moment.

 

Dunno what im on about? Basically my temporary residency visa has expired last year June 24. My family has applied for a temporary residency visa extension and during that time we are placed under a bridging visa. This bridging visa allows us to stay in Australia until Immigration has finished processing the extension application. It has been a year now. Its taking very long and it is getting me very worried.

 

Why am i worried? Im getting older. I'm at the age where the responsibilities and duties of a first born male falls very heavily upon my shoulders. It is my burden to bear and mine alone. I have to start looking for a career, but not many companies here in australia are very optimistic at hiring people with visa's such as mine. Im hoping that i am able to find a job here and the company grants me a work permit. However, things look pretty bleak so ive begun to look around and asking help from friends.

 

Right now, any job that can grant me a work permit would suffice as i can then stay here and continue the search for a career. But if i cant find any and the extension fails. i am forced to return home, back to singapore. I really hate saying goodbye. I never like saying goodbye and i don't want to say goodbye to the great friends that ive found here in Perth as well as in Melbourne. I really treasure the times we had. Through the ups and downs of uni life. Ups and downs in our personal lives. I treasure the times we had fun, where we would just sit around and chill out and the LAN games of course. i will treasure the memories we've shared, the fun and painful experiences we've gone through. I hate saying goodbye. Im never good at it. It has happened once before and i hated it as it hurt alot. Now, again, im feeling that sense of hurt coming back. I made a promise to a friend in feburary. Im not sure how you think of it or even view the promise or the r/s now, but Im sorry, it looks very bad now.

 

Dear friends, i will actively and try to my fullest every attempt to get a job. I hope that we can continue sharing more memories. But my time is running short and i still have my dissertation. With the visa in turmoil its looking very bleak and i might be forced to go home. However, i will always remember you guys and gals and keep our memories together in my heart.

 

 

SISPEC days BSLC

 

One of the most dreaded exercises during that time. The mere mention of fire trench sends shivers down the spines of most soldiers. However, we still gotta do it. In BMT we dug a fire trench we 7 guys. Man it wasnt even completely dug yet or properly reinforced yet before we started covering it up and still it was one heck of a hard work.

 

In SISPEC, that was a different story. Only one man digs the fire trench and reinforces it while his buddy helps setup a defensive wire around the defence perimeter. Standard army stuff. Great being tall has it advantages. YEAH right! Being tall means digging a deeper fire trench. So being a tall guy i was paired up with another tall guy... ok... only need to dig 1.7m into the ground. Easy right? A straight hole 1.7m deep... as if! Try 2m*1m*1.7m!

 

The night began with a standto at 7pm with everyone on alert just before commencing digging in. The moment standto lifted. I dropped my equipment, layed my rifle close by. Grabbed the pickaxe and started hacking away into the ground.

 

3hrs into it blisters started appearing and my back and arm were starting to ache. This is at 10pm. Continuous digging with small breaks to stretch and drink water.

 

Another 2 hrs go by. My camouflage fatigues changed from green to yellow. My hair was matted to my scalp with all that sweat and my fatigues were wet through and through with all that pespiration. It was midnight and the moon was high in the sky. It was starry night with little clouds and a bright moon. Excellent night for romance but wrong place and wrong time. My blisters had already broken and my hands had grown numb. The candle I lit to see in the dark was beginning to die out. So i started to replace it. It was only then i noticed my blisters were actually bleeding. After getting a fresh candle out. I took a bit of a breather, drank some water, tore out my bandages from a small first aid kit from my equipment and bandaged my hands. After that, back to digging.

 

2 more hours, my buddy came back to hand me some snacks and water, plus some more fresh candles and a matchbox before he headed on out and back to the wire. I think my arms were so sore that i no longer felt them anymore. I just kept digging. Pickaxe to loosen the virgin soil and spade to chuck em out. By then i had already dug about 1.4m in. The bandages started to loosen so i had to get some fresh ones from the medic and rebandage my hands. My palms by then looked like raw meat. More digging.

 

4am. I was already starting to feel extremely exhausted. I took a break and emptied my canteens, walked to nearby water point to top up my canteens. On the way back i chatted with my other pals. Giving each other encouragements and complaining about being in it all. Got back to my own hole. Seeing how much ive dug compared to them i felt a little proud. Couldnt slack off now. I had to complete digging by daybreak

 

Daybreak could not have come sooner. Standto was issued and i took that 30 mins to rest my sore and exhausted body. Once standto lifted. I looked at my hole. It was complete. My buddy came back too, with piping hot breakfast and a cup of coffee. I never felt happier. It felt as though i have just had a meal in a long time. My buddy took over the remaing parts of the task. He told me he got some sleep during the night and was happy to reinforce the fire trench. His words were music to my ears. I grabbed my wife sat down in the trench and at once i was asleep

 

Next thing i knew i was up to my chest in muddy water. it was raining and the trench was flooded. I wasnt in any apparent danger yet so my buddy didnt wake me. He had reinforced most of the trench leaving the mortar fire shelter task to be all thats left to be done. He was happy standing in the water while keeping watch. I, in my exhausted state watched some bugs swim in front of me before falling asleep again.

 

When i woke up finally, it was about 4pm. My buddy had already fallen asleep on the job. Some soldiers we are... So i carried on reinforcing the trench.

 

By dinner time the trench was ready and my buddy was none the wiser. It was only at standto he woke up (coz he had to). Throughout the night we took turns to maintain a 2hour watch.

 

3rd Day came... time to anticipate an attack on our positions... <to be continued>

Pikachu

 

Im not sure of the origins of this one. If you dont know what a Pikachu is. It is a cute yellow animal in a popular anime series called Pokemon. The actual version is Pai Ka Pai Chiu... meaning injured leg, injured arm literally. I guess it is a mispronounciation error that lead to this. Every morning after breakfast, the COS (Company Orderly Sergeant) would round up all the sick/injured men by shouting "ALL THE PIKACHU, FALL IN!" and bring them to the Medical Centre.

 

Symptoms : General fatigue and swollen palms

Diagnosis : This is due too much "running, touching faraway tree and running back, get told its the wrong tree and made to run again"

Prescription : Keep telling recruit to repeat until immunity develops. May help calling him a "bloody gu-niang(girl)" or epithet of your choice

 

Symptoms : Red, teary eyes, dribbly nose. One ear larger than the other. General signs of depression

Diagnosis : Excessive use of the mobile phone. Recruit has ailment Girlfriendus Dumpus, very common maldy among soldiers.

Prescription : Pictures of scantily dressed young women to help soldier get over it.

 

Symptoms : Disorientation, eyes spinning and fingers pointing in different directions

Diagnosis : Allergic to compass during navigation exercise

Prescription : Repeat navigation exercise until immunity develops. Give GPS in extreme cases.

 

Symptoms : Extreme agitation, legs curling around each other, profuse sweating

Diagnosis : Soldier has very small bladder

Prescription : Rubber band or tell soldier to empty one water bottle and use it

 

Symptoms : Flattened top of head, signs of agony

Diagnosis : Soldier sneaking an illegal nap when sergeant walked in. Someone shouted "Room!" to get everyone to attention to greet the sergeant. Soldier got up too fast and smashed head on base of bed above

Prescription : 2 panadols, extra guard duty during weekend or confinement

 

Symptoms : Green tongue

Diagnosis : Soldier is addicted to licking camouflage paint from the face during exercise

Prescription : Replace camouflage paint on face with mud and charcoal

BIC

 

Battle Innoculation Course

 

This is a special course unlike most. In this course you have GPMGs (General Purpose Machine Guns) firing 7.62mm rounds above the heads of recruits.

 

More on the 7.62mm bullets. One in the centre of your skull will blow it up like a watermelon.

 

More on the GPMG. It is a medium machine gun. Weighs about 11.5kg (unloaded). It is used for multiple purposes but mainly for gunning down soldiers or used in suppressing fire(pin down the enemy so that they cant manouveur).

 

During the BIC. Soldiers emerge from a concrete trench and crawl a full 300m to the other end. The paths are clearly marked out so each soldier knows where to crawl. The crawl is tough. On a hot day, the ground is mostly hard and sandy making it easy to crawl but lose energy very quickly. On a rainy day, yes we have to crawl in the rain. The ground becomes muddy and after it, most of the time we come out with mud everywhere.

 

Along the way there are low barbed wire where the soldiers will have to crawl under belly up using the m16 rifle to push the barbed wire upwards so as not to get entangled as well as not to injure themselves. Also there are little artillery simulators, just little explosions to the side of us to simulate coming under artillery and mortar fire. As a recruit i had ear plugs on. As a sergeant (lead by example) i didnt wear earplugs. the explosions were loud enough to make the ears ring a little. Some times along the way i would find items left over by other soldiers that did not keep their equipment secure.

 

Items found :

Camouflage paint,

toggle rope,

mirror(we use for peeking around corners not to beautify ourselves),

canteens(water bottle),

earplugs,

whistles,

L-torch(torchlight),

bayonet(knife attached to the end of a rifle)

and my friend said he found a helmet. Dunno which goon would've lost a helmet like this.

 

In real war, you'll find more than just the items above. Sometimes parts of your buddies.

 

At the end of the crawl, we would go into a concrete trench. In there we fix our bayonets before leaping out and yelling at the top of our lungs like some insane jungle man and bayonet(thrust strike) a dummy ending the BIC!

 

I still dont understand how some soldiers can miss their targets, to either crash completely into the dummy or fall over beside it or run through and into the forest behind the dummy. Geez.

 

 

 

 

Sit and Reach: Sit down with legs stretched straight forward and reach as far as you can. (phased out)

 

Situps : Usually not a problem. I can achieve 40+ even now (Gold standard). Itd be stupid to get injured here. I dont even think you can even get injured here. Hmm maybe when ur partner holding ur legs in place, misses ur legs and hits the middle part (aka the middle leg)

 

Standing Board Jump : We would use a mat with the distance markings and a starting line. This was a major problem for short guys as their legs were shorter but to compensate they were usually lighter as they were less bulky. For taller guys (aka me) , it wasnt so much of a problem. Gold standard was to jump a distance of >242cm. Common injuries were usually the bum. Common jokes was to either pull the mat out from under the jumper to make them look like they over-jumped or under-jumped.

 

Chin Ups : Major problem for the usually more studious lot of guys in singapore. When i entered i could only do 6. At my peak, I could do 15. Common injuries were usually the head or the chin. Sometimes the bum from over-swinging. Yes! You do sway alot whilst doing chin ups.

 

Shuttle Run : Not a problem for taller guys as they take larger strides. Major problem for shorter guys. Still, its an easy one. Common injuries was barrelling into your buddies at full speed at the end. (even after i told some of them idiots to clear a path for the runner, well... they eventually learned) Sprained foot from breaking too quickly.

 

Sit and Reach : Stupidest station of all. Whats the point of testing how far you can reach forward with both ur legs strapped down straight in front of you? Nobody found a good reason so it was phased out. I got into PTP all because of that. Major problem for tall guys. One of my friends said he squished one of his nuts whilst doing it. I later found out he didnt wear underwear. Yes. Please use underwear to keep ur hanging ones in place guys.

 

2.4km RUN : Another Major Obstacle for Gold getters. 9min40secs to run 2.4km is no joke. The first time i attempted it. I fainted and collapsed at the end of the run, coming in at 9min 52secs. Next thing i knew i was in the medical centre with IV drips in me. The second time i took it was in SISPEC(ASLC). I managed a timing of 9min23secs. Amazing! I was at my peak then. I dont think i can even dream of getting such timing now.

 

Before i went for the test, others that have already attained the timing were appointed to run and encourage potential Gold getters. I was assigned one as well. All I knew was during the last 500m or so. He kept cheering me on and on. My body wanted to give in and my mind was quickly following. But I heard his encouragements so i perservered. At that point i couldnt feel my hands and arms anymore and i was losing hearing in my ears. Still i pressed on. At 200m i couldnt hear anything anymore except for me huffing and puffing. Vision was already starting to blur. I knew i could make it still and shut everything out and carried on. Sheer force of will got me through. I was even surprised at my timing. My buddy during the run said i was yelling during the last bit of the run. I didnt even know i was yelling. "Animal rage" my warrant officer explained when he came to congratulate me.

 

I learnt 3 things from it. Things not many will attain during their normal course of life.

1. The sheer will to do something

2. A fire to drive the hearts of the person and others around him/her.

3. Through encouragement and support, the seemingly impossibility will be possible.

 

I know it is hard to do the first 2. But have you encouraged someone lately? Supported their actions and given them morale support? It can do wonders for you and for them.